Wednesday, June 7, 2017


PLEASE NOTE: I do not promote the practice of contemplative prayer, and my link the article mentioned is not an endorsement of the practice. I have drawn attention to it in this post in order to warn people about its dangers, and point out some of the errors contained in the article.


I found a site on the web awhile ago that explains the origins of "contemplative" or "centering prayer" from a Roman Catholic perspective by Joseph G. Sandman, Vice President for Advancement at Loyola University Chicago, where he teaches a workshop on centering prayer in the Institute for Pastoral Studies The article is entitled Centering Prayer: A Treasure for the Soul (—Vatican II called for the revitalization of the path of contemplative prayer).

I find it rather disconcerting that many well-meaning Christians who say they believe that God's Word is the final authority in their life, have failed to understand that this type of prayer is unbiblical and has its roots in the Roman Catholic church, an entity which denies sola scriptura. This particular article acknowledges that the Roman Catholic church, via Vatican II, "called for the revitalization of the path of contemplative prayer". What the article doesn't tell you is the contemplative prayer has its root in Egypt with the "Desert Fathers".

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Muslim Call for the Third Temple to be Built in Israel is Just Beginning

Although this may only be the beginnings of the idea, this certainly makes sense in the world today, and falls well within the realm of end-times Bible prophecy.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Screen shot 2013-11-18 at 7.55.38 AM 

It has been a very lo-o-o-ng time since I have posted anything here since I have had some real health challenges in the last few years, but I have been hearing about so many people, especially Christian women, reading the bestselling book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young, that I have decided I must add this post to my blog as a special warning about it.

Although this book may have a lot of elements of truth in it, it also contains a fair bit of spiritual and doctrinal error which may lead down a very dangerous path for those who do not understand what the errors are. In my opinion, there is enough error in it, and the error is toxic enough to the soul and spirit, that it is a book that will never be a part of my library except for the purpose of research, and I will never give it my recommendation.

Here is a link to an interview with researcher and author of the book "ANOTHER JESUS" CALLING, Warren Smith, a man I have heard speak in person, who used to be involved in the New Age movement and is very knowledgeable about the new trends happening in the churches today, explaining what these dangers are and where they can lead:


For further information about Warren Smith's book "ANOTHER JESUS" CALLING, please also read:

"One Woman’s Story About Jesus Calling: A Surprise I Never Expected That Changed My Life!" and other articles from the Lighthousetrails Research Blog at the following link:

From the Lighthouse: Posts Tagged "another jesus calling

But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. For if he who comes preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted-- you may well put up with it.

2 Cor. 11:3-4

Monday, November 21, 2011


This is THE most important article I have read regarding the "Christian" mysticism (contemplative spirituality) that is invading our evangelical churches and denominations. It reveals the "how" and "why" of it.

This is the question addressed by the article:

"What do the two accreditation organizations – Association of Theological Seminaries and Association for Biblical Higher Education - have in common? Both associations require schools that wish to be accredited to include Spiritual Formation within the school’s infrastructure. Just what exactly does that mean for these 350 some seminaries and Bible colleges? Well, it means that if they want to receive and maintain their accreditation, they are going to have to incorporate Spiritual Formation (i.e., contemplative spirituality) into the lives of their students."
-Lighthouse Trails Editors

The rest of the article can be read here: An Epidemic of Apostasy: Christian Seminaries Must Incorporate "Spiritual Formation" to Become Accredited

Please also take the time to read my personal testimony about my involvement with this movement when I encountered it in a Spiritual Formation seminary course: A Personal Testimony: Why Christian Leaders Should Not Promote Henri Nouwen

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


"The Tangible Kingdom" is book written by Matt Smay and Hugh Halter and published by Jossey-Bass Leadership Network, and it's creation, like so many other books published by the Jossey-Bass Leadership Network, is intended to move the church into the 21st century via the emerging church movement. Sadly, however, its methods are anything but biblical (I will say more about that later in this post). The emerging church has received the backing of the Leadership Network managerially and the Eli Lilly Corporation (drug manufacturer of Prozac) financially, and it appears to be a success due to their help, rather than a true move of God. 1.

To discover the answer to the question, "What is The Tangible Kingdom movement?" please click HERE.

What most people are not told about The Leadership Network and its baby, the Emerging/Emergent church movement* (see notes at the bottom of this post) is that it is based on both human and occult philosophy, not on Scripture. It is what is not being said about it that is so dangerous to the spiritual health of the churches which are looking to these church growth/missions methods as part of their program for spiritual development. That being said, however, the emerging church is showing its true colors, for those who are truly willing to see them; and although the rumor last year was that the emerging church movement is dead, it is anything but. It may have morphed or matured or changed its name, but the underlying philosophy is alive and well and continues to penetrate churches around the globe.

The authors of "The Tangible Kingdom" use the method of deconstructionism** in order to introduce their version of the kingdom of God (which according to Scripture is spiritual, not physical, as in the sense that it is a material kingdom in the present age). Although Christ and His church will one day rule this earth in a both a physical and spiritual sense in the Millennial Age, that is not presently happening. In this sense, the emerging church movement of the tangible kingdom fits more closely with Kingdom Now/Dominion/Theonomy/Reconstruction theology, which is preterist in nature.

"The Tangible Kingdom" also uses terminology typical to the emerging church , words such as tranformational, missional, and incarnational community. Which brings me to my next thought - the communitarianism*** inherent within the movement. The emerging church promotes communitarianism as a replacement for biblical unity (which is always based on the truth), as compared to the man-made false unity created by a common goal to use the church as a humanitarian organization which will eventually, and finally, compromise the truth of God's Word to achieve it. The purpose of this goal is to make the church fit in with the globalist/socialist agenda, a "three-legged stool" comprised of government, the business sector, and the social sector (which includes the church). It is blatant social engineering. The plan for socialism to infiltrate the church has been known for quite some time now, and has been purposely hidden from the church in order to deceive it. Please read the evidence HERE. It is time for the church to get its head out of the sand now!

"...we have seen how Dr. Walter Rauschenbusch... and the leaders of the social-action movements in the churches decided to do away with Christian individualism and turn to outright collectivism, using the church as their instrument.... Religion was only a means toward achieving socialism. And, like all other false prophets who have infiltrated religion through he centuries, [Rauschenbusch] used a 'front' or disguise. This disguise, as we have seen, was 'The Kingdom of God.' The Kingdom was not pictured as a spiritual society into which men and women had to be born as individuals through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior, but as a collectivist society which would be brought about by... eradication of poverty, redistribution of wealth... and 'economic justice.'" 2. (Edgar Bundy, Collectivism in the Churches.)

The words of Jesus:
"My Kingdom is not of this world" (John 18:36)

* (from "Emerging Towards Convergence" by Sarah Leslie at
"We know that the current Emergent Church is a marketing phenomenon, set up as an official movement by Bob Buford’s Leadership Network, a historical fact which we documented in a series of Herescope posts in 2005 and 2006.[2] From its very inception in the 1980s Leadership Network imported a number of leading New Age business “gurus” as “experts” – holding nebulous (if any!) Christian credentials. They trained an entire generation of evangelical “leaders” on the latest tactics of psycho-social change theory, substituting it for genuine Holy Spirit revival. These business “gurus,” some of whom had open New Age beliefs, included such notables as Margaret Wheatley, Peter Drucker, Jim Collins, and Ken Blanchard. Many spoke at a 2000 Leadership Network conference “Exploring Off the Map” which launched the Emergent Church movement.[3]

From our research we also know that the Emergent Church was set up to be a vanguard, a forerunner, to propel the postmodern evangelical church towards a paradigm shift in theology, structure, methodology, and purpose. As such, it has been rushing headlong towards an open convergence with the New Age movement. Emergent leader Phyllis Tickle has termed this “The Great Emergence,” which is the title of her 2008 book announcing the “birthing” of a “brand-new expression of… faith and praxis” (p. 17) which will ultimately “rewrite Christian theology” (p. 162). Important details about both the history and theology of the modern Emergent movement can be found in Pastor Bob DeWaay’s recently published book The Emergent Church: Undefining Christianity (2009). This book summarizes the basic doctrines and practices of the movement, and gives an account of a few key leaders."

** (from "Envisioning Emergence"" by Sarah Leslie at
"Pastor DeWaay does an excellent job of scouring the Emergent chronicles for evidences of “deconstruction.” “Deconstruction” is a philosophy that de-emphasizes the Word of God, and claims that no one can really know the Truth. It fits hand-in-glove with mysticism.

An excellent analysis of “deconstruction” was written by Samuel Blumenfeld in 1995, as part of his scholarly refutation of the “whole language” style of teaching reading that resulted in illiteracy. Blumenfeld explained how “deconstruction” obliterates the fact that words have meaning, de-emphasizes written language by claiming that there is no “truth” in it, and declares “the impossibility of determining absolute meaning”[15] in a text. He wrote:

"But not only do the whole-language deconstructionists reject the concept of the absolute word—the logos—but they reject the very system of logical thinking that made Western civilization possible. They not only reject the Bible, they reject Aristotle’s A is A. Their new formula is A can be anything you want it to be, which can only be the basis of a pre-literate or non-literate culture in which subjectivism, emotion and superstition prevail as the means of knowing. That, of course, is simply a form of insanity—the inability not only to deal with objective reality but to recognize and admit that it exists. A mind so inclined is a mind that will lead its owner to destruction."[16]

The Emergent Church is at the vanguard of this type of deconstructionism. It discounts the Word of God, mocks exegetical preaching and teaching, and emphasizes dialogue (“conversation”), mysticism, symbology, community (“relationships”), and various “spiritual disciplines.” A recent, related fad in the evangelical mission world is “orality,” which is telling stories about the Bible instead of teaching Scripture itself. This cheats the listener out of the precious ability to hear or read God’s Word."

"Communitarians refer to the creation of a world government as the effort to create a “healthy society.” The goal of the church growth movement (CGM) is to manipulate Christians and churches into this healthy society. “Health-based” language is sometimes used in the CGM. Some church growth leaders desire “healthy churches” and “healthy congregations” made up of “healthy Christians.” A healthy church would be one in which all members are willing to compromise the Word of God for the common good. Communitarians believe that attaining a healthy society involves the successful merger of the 3 sectors of society. It requires a merger of the government sector, the private sector (business) and the social sector (which includes the churches). This merger is also known as “Drucker’s 3-legged stool,” named after its main proponent, Peter Drucker, who is considered to be the “father of modern management.” Peter Drucker, like Amitai Etzioni, was a Communitarian and was also a student of the Kabbalah. According to Roger Oakland’s “Bob Buford, Peter Drucker, and the Emerging Church,” Peter Drucker, like Amitai Etzioni, shared a bond with the Kabbalist, Martin Buber. Roger Oakland stated, “Drucker felt a strong bond…with a panentheist/ mystic named Martin Buber (1878-1965), who embraced the teachings of Hasidism (Jewish mysticism).” In his book, “Between Man and Man” (New York, NY: Routledge Classics, 2002, first published in 1947), p. 219, Buber states, ‘Since 1900 I had first been under the influence of German mysticism from Meister Eckhart [a mystic] ... then I had been under the influence of the later Kabalah [Jewish mysticism] and of Hasidism.’” 32.

Peter Drucker was very interested in getting churches involved in the implementation of the world government. Drucker, who once lamented that there were “still many unhealthy churches,” 35. was not only an occultist, but an organizational guru. It was his involvement in the Jewish Kabbalah that inspired him to create an organizational model that would transform churches into agents of Satan. This organizational model today is called Total Quality Management (TQM). “Total” stands for “totalitarian.” It was Drucker’s vision that all organizations, including church organizations, within the 3-legged stool (Communitarian system) be run on TQM. He considered churches not conformed to this TQM model to be “still unhealthy.”

For further reading: 1. " 'Undefining' God's Mission - The Emerging Church on a 'Mission from God' " by Bob DeWaay 2. "What's Wrong With the 21st Century Church? by Dr. Robert Klenck
3. "Treason in the Church: Trading Truth for a 'Social Gospel'" by Berit Kjos 4. "Transforming the World by Subverting the Church" by Berit Kjos

End Notes: 1. 2. Edgar C Bundy, Collectivism in the Churches: A documented account of the political activities of the Federal, National, and World Councils of Churches (Wheaton, Illinois: Church League of America, 1957), page 101

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Update (December 5, 2010):
Thank you for your prayers for our family. Our granddaughter has been diagnosed with Chronic Benign Neutropenia. Although certain cell counts from her bone marrow test indicate she should have leukemia, no accompanying cancer cells were found - this is a medical impossibility, so either God has healed her or the doctors made a mistake, but she has no symptoms of leukemia and appears to be healthy, apart from the fact that she must guard carefully against infections, which would be life threatening if left untreated. My daughter continues to have undiagnosed health problems and the doctors continue to look for answers. We appreciate your ongoing prayers for both of them.


First of all, I want to thank all those who have been praying for my physical health. There has been a great deal of improvement, although I still struggle with fatigue and have to cope with quite a bit of pain if I try to do more than my body will allow. I am about 70% better than I was three years ago, a point at which I was frequently bed-ridden. Praise God for the measure of health He has given me. I was so excited last Sunday that I was able to go for a 20 minute bike ride, something I haven't been able to do in quite some time.

Now I am requesting prayer for my oldest daughter and her husband and their baby girl, my only grandchild. My granddaughter became ill just after her first birthday and has been sick for the last two and a half months. She has a condition called severe neutropenia which causes her to have almost no immunity to viruses or infections and must be kept in strict isolation. She is also allergic to the only antibiotics safe for young children, which means that if she should contract some type of infection it would probably be fatal. It has been a very trying time for her parents as she has undergone numerous testing (lots of "pokes" for a one year old!) and is now waiting to have a bone marrow test early next week.

On top of all this, her mother has also been sick for the past 3-4 weeks. She was seen by three doctors yesterday and has had a full battery of blood tests done, although not all the results are back yet. The latest revealed a very high white blood count. She also has pain around her joints, fatique, unexplained bruising and lumps throughout her body. The two most likely possibilities are widespread infection or leukemia. They have gone to Saskatoon today for a second opinion, since the local doctors have gone on holiday and she was feeling much worse yet again today. Since I have had an unexplained, persistent cough for the last two weeks I have been unable to help her at home and with Elianna, since she cannot be exposed to me in case I am ill, so I would also ask that you would pray that my cough would go away.

Please pray that the doctors attending my daughter and granddaughter would have the wisdom to make an accurate diagnosis and provide the correct treatment for both of them. Also for daily strength for our whole family, but especially my son-in-law, who is bearing a great deal of this burden. We know that God is faithful and watching over us all, but also that the effectual, fervent prayer of the righteous has much value. Would you please consider keeping us in your prayers daily as we go through this trial? Thank you in advance for all of those concerned and willing to do this.

To God be the Glory,

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


From the November 1, 2009 Lighthousetrails Newsletter:

The headline in this article may seem preposterous – Brian McLaren and two other contemplative prayer proponents (Richard Rohr and Phyllis Tickle) agreeing with what Lighthouse Trails has been trying to say for eight years now? That the same contemplative prayer which is advocated by mainstream Christian leaders (Beth Moore, Chuck Swindoll, Rick Warren, Focus on the Family, etc) is the very same thing as eastern mysticism (i.e., Hinduism/Buddhism). How can we say such a statement?

In a book that was released this year titled The Big Book of Christian Mysticism,author Carl McColman (a former self-proclaimed pagan who converted to contemplative Catholicism) states that “no absolutely clear distinction can be drawn between Christian and non-Christian mysticism” (p. 64). In others words, they are basically the same thing. This is exactly what Lighthouse Trails has been attempting to warn against for many years.

Continue reading the rest of the article HERE.

For further reading on this topic:
1. "Contemplating Contemplative Prayer: Is It Really Prayer?" by Marcia Montenegro
2. "Contemplative Prayer or Terror?" by Roger Oakland
3. "What Is Biblical Prayer?" by Kent Rieske

Monday, March 29, 2010


The past three months have been spent concentrating on finding medical help and pain relief for a condition I have struggled with for many years and has gotten worse lately, which means I have been unable to keep up with this blog. I have chosen to leave it open to the public at this time but have closed the comments due to the fact that I am not able to be online as much as previous. I have also decided I would rather spend any spare time I have doing research for a book I am hoping to write. A new blog posting may appear here from time to time, but it will be sporadic. If you wish to receive updates by email rather than having to check the blog, please contact me by email and I will include you on a list created for that purpose.

I have also become aware lately of the likelihood that somebody else has taken a user-name that I commonly use, fortheauthor or FORTHEAUTHOR, on occasion. This has been done by somebody who appears to have malicious intent towards me. Please beware of this if you come across it and the content is not like something I would put my name to. I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you find such a case. The internet can be a vicious place to express yourself and everyone seems to be fair game, especially if you are interested in expressing a biblical perspective and someone does not agree with you.

Thanks, Bonnie

Friday, December 25, 2009


May God bless you as you seek to honor Christ in your and hearts and homes during this season and may He enrich you with all the spiritual blessings that belong to those who belong to Him.

Here are a couple of passages of Scripture which have been on my mind as I have been thinking about the birth of Christ and its meaning to me in the last few weeks:

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant,
and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man,
he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death,
even the death of the cross.
Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him,
and given him a name which is above every name:
That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed,
not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence,
work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God,
without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation,
among whom ye shine as lights in the world;
Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ,
that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.

Philippians 2:5-16


In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,

and the Word was God.
The same was in the beginning with God.

All things were made by him;
and without him was not any thing made that was made.
In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
And the light shineth in darkness;
and the darkness comprehended it not.

There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
The same came for a witness,
to bear witness of the Light,
that all men through him might believe.

He was not that Light,
but was sent to bear witness of that Light.

That was the true Light,
which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.

He was in the world, and the world was made by him,
and the world knew him not.

He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
But as many as received him,
to them gave he power to become the sons of God,
even to them that believe on his name:
Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh,
nor of the will of man, but of God.
And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us,
(and we beheld his glory,
the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,)
full of grace and truth.

John 1:1-14

Friday, December 11, 2009


This posting is a copy of the email I sent to the moderator of a website entitled The Information Underground, an anti-Israel, anti-Zionist ThinkTank. It has been posted here because this website decided to post my thesis on Apostasy in the MB Conference on their website on May 10, 2009 without my permission. A private email I sent this individual, when I found out about it five months later, was also posted there without my permission. For this reason I want my readers to understand that I do not endorse this website in any way, and I do not agree with the position it has taken on the state of Israel. In a second email I challenged this individual again for the reason he posted my thesis without my permission and on his anti-Israel cause. Since I have not heard from this individual since then, and disagree with much of his theology I decided it was necessary for me to post the following information here so that anyone who should come across it on The Information Underground would understand where I stand on some of the issues raised in it. Once again, my thesis was used without my permission on the website, and I do not agree with its position on Israel or on eschatology (anti-rapture).


Below is a copy of the first private email I sent this individual (which he published without my permission) and his reply to me which he published on The Information Underground in October 2009. Following that is my second request to this individual and my challenge to his stand on Israel and his eschatology.


October 2, 2009
From: "Bonnie"


I became aware some time ago that you have posted my thesis in "The Information Underground" following an article entitled "The Long Silence: Mennonites and Freemasonry". I made the express request at the top of my blog article that permission be requested to link to it or post, copy or print any part of it since I did not want it used for the wrong reasons. I am curious as to why you did not do me the courtesy of doing so. I understand that you may not be under any legal obligation to do so under the freedom of information act, and yet I am curious as to why you would have it follow the article you did (regarding Freemasonry). Do you believe there is a link between my article and the previous one? If so, would you be willing to share what that would be with me? I understand that Freemasonry practices a mystical spirituality, but wonder why you would choose my article, in particular, to follow it. Are there no other articles available which would expose a Freemasonry-type mysticism in the Mennonite community? (I also read the article you included from the "Good Information Advocates" website.)

I have read a few posts from "The Information Underground" and do understand (apart from your website) that there is a "synagogue of Satan", a group of people who claim to be Jews, who may even actually be Jews (although it is more likely that they are impostors), who will have no part in the kingdom of God, a mystical faction who practice Babylonian mysticism through the cabala, and likely still in existence today.

Because you have posted my article, I would appreciate also if you would help me to understand the purpose of "The Information Underground". It is my personal belief that the nation of Israel was chosen by God apart from all the other nations of the world, and is the nation from which the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ, came. I believe that God will bless those who bless Israel and curse those who curse them, and that Israel will repent and turn from their wicked ways when they see Him who they have pierced return in the flesh to the earth. If your website exists for the purpose of cursing Israel I would be very disturbed if people found my article on your website.

Would you please clarify for me the purpose of the website and the reason you chose to post my article, as well as the reason you did not ask my permission to use it?

Sincerely, Bonnie


October 3, 2009
Here is "joeblow's" reply:

Bonnie, I fully agree with you about the dark, apostate conspiracy that has taken over most, if not all, organised Christian churches and which has lead their congregations away from the true path of righteousness embodied in the life and works of Jesus Christ; we must fight this corrupting influence by all means at our disposal lest our future generations be forever lost in a tyrannical, zio-nazi world;

you said:
'the nation of Israel was chosen by God apart from all the other nations of the world, and is the nation from which the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ, came. I believe that God will bless those who bless Israel and curse those who curse them, and that Israel will repent and turn from their wicked ways when they see Him who they have pierced return in the flesh to the earth'

but you must understand that your esteem for the present, artificially, corruptly and cruelly established nation of Israel is entirely misplaced; you are confusing Jesus's origins and roots with the present, predominantly Khazars, Ashkenazi 'jews who call themselves jews but are not and are of the Synagogue of Satan' [as you have acknowledged] who have no blood ties whatsoever to the semites of Jesus's people and place: so, 'anti-semitism' should really mean anti-Palestinian!

firstly, Jesus was not Jewish as we know the term, a citizen of a nation state called Israel with defined national borders and all the establishments of society as we know it;
any casual web search can reveal the truth that he was a Judean; just see Benjamin H Freedman's authorititative historical study for confirmation:

this was the first result from this random search: ... =yfp-t-710

Judaism as it is taught in the 'holiest' Jewish book, 'The Talmud', is the most hateful of faiths and is diametrically opposed to Christianity;

So, please do not persist in your pro-zionist views as they are the same mistaken 'Judeo-Christian' beliefs, about 'rapture' and so on, fostered and promoted by the current anti-Christian crime gang that has usurped and twisted Christian teaching by having their agent Schofield alter the Holy Bible and by infiltrating their operatives and unwitting sympathisers at all levels of organised Christendom, including the Holy See; I beg you to study the relevant posts here on this and other sites such as ... _02_09_MP3 ... talmud.htm

And below is my December 9, 2009 email to "joeblow":
To "joeblow":

I was rather disappointed that you posted my last email online and failed to send me a direct reply to which I could respond. I only became aware yesterday that you had posted my private email to you on your website when I was informed about it by a third party. Also, you did not answer my question as to why you posted my thesis without my permission when that was expressly stated on my blog posting above the thesis, and when that was the reason I emailed you in the first place. I had a very particular purpose for posting that thesis on my blog, and did not want it out there on websites that I did not know about being used for purposes other than what it was intended for. And yes, I understand that you can probably do so legally without my permission, but if you are a Christian brother, I would hope you would at least would have done me the courtesy of asking, since that was what was requested.

At this point, since you chose to publish both my thesis and my private email to you on your public website, I ask you to also post this one there on the same page so that the people reading the previous things I have written will know where I stand on some of the issues you have addressed. At this point I am not interested in creating a username and password for the IU, otherwise I would have posted it there myself.

You said, in your reply to my last email to you, "but you must understand that your esteem for the present, artificially, corruptly and cruelly established nation of Israel is entirely misplaced; you are confusing Jesus's origins and roots with the present, predominantly Khazars, Ashkenazi 'jews who call themselves jews but are not and are of the Synagogue of Satan' [as you have acknowledged] who have no blood ties whatsoever to the semites of Jesus's people and place: so, 'anti-semitism' should really mean anti-Palestinian!"

"joeblow", I disagree with you that I do not understand what is happening in the nation of Israel. I am fully aware that those who are responsible for the recreation of the state of Israel, which was created with the approval of the United Nations (and yes, I know that the UN is a corrupt organization) are not who many people think they are. I also understand that the words "Jew" and "Zion" are not always used in a manner that is technically correct, but in the language of today, they are used in a number of different ways. The term "Mennonite" is similar, and if you asked me if I was a Mennonite I would have to ask you what you mean by that since many people used it as an ethnic (or maybe rather, a cultural) term, while others understand it to be a religious identification. It is my understanding that the term "Jew" is used in a similar manner, both ways, although it may not be the technically or academically correct way of using it. I read most of the links you provided. Here is one for you: "What is a Jew?". This is how the majority of people understand the word today. It may not be correct by your standards, but that is how it is used by the general public! (And yes, I agree, Jesus is incorrectly labeled a Jew in the technical sense).

From my understanding, there are still prophecies regarding the nation of Israel which have not yet been fulfilled, (but which I believe will be in the near future and in the coming Millennium). I do not believe that God is finished with the nation of Israel or with the land being occupied there in the Middle East. Theologically, it appears that you and I have very different views about eschatology (and I know enough about it to understand your viewpoint, I just don't agree with it. I believe what I believe, not out of ignorance, but because of my studies of the issues, which are quite rounded, by the way). I also believe that the piece of land they are occupying belongs to God, not to them. It is similar to the parents who are the owner of a car who purchased it for the use of a teen child and have given him his own set of keys to it. As long as that child is using the car on the parents terms, the teen is able to use it, but if he abuses the privilege, the keys are taken away or the car only allowed to be used in a limited manner. In the same way, I believe God is not pleased with the "Jewish" people inhabiting the present, world-recognized state of Israel, and for that reason they are not able to live in peace in the land. As long as they continue to reject Yeshuah HaMashiach, the Redeemer sent by God, they are going to only have limited privileges at best. I also believe that God even uses evil people in positions of power for His own purposes, just as He has throughout the Old and New Testament and more recent history. I believe He will use the synagogue of Satan to accomplish some of His purposes for the nation of Israel. God's purposes and His will are never frustrated by evil men, rather it is He who turns the hearts of the kings of the earth, whether they be good or evil. God has not lost control over the nation of Israel and does need to wrestle it back from those who call themselves Jews but are not, but will rather use them in the grand scheme to bring about His will as stated and promised in His Word. I believe the state of Israel has a right to exist today. The fact of the matter is, whether it is legitimate or not in your eyes or anybody's, it does exist, it is legally a country in the present time, and it is recognized as such by the world, apart from the jealous Arab nations who would like to obliterate them from the face of the earth (but that fight has been going on ever since Jacob and Esau wrestled in the womb of Rebeka, and it's not going to end until God makes all things right at the end of the age), and God is completely aware of the whole situation within that nation. And...I do not believe every single "Jew" is evil, as you claim (even though I agree that there are many impostors both in Israel and throughout the world), and that there are many others in the land of Israel whom God is preparing for salvation in the end of the age, many who belong to the other tribes of Israel.

I am wondering if you would be willing to give me your interpretation of Zechariah 12-14. My understanding is that only 1/3 of the people in the land of Israel will survive God's wrath because they have repented. There is a description of what happens to some of the 2/3s which are destroyed which sound an awful lot like death by a nuclear device, with their flesh, their eyes and tongues being consumed while they are still standing. Has this type of death ever in the history of mankind yet happened to the nation of Israel? If not, when is it going to happen?

Also, do you believe that there will ever be a "legitimate" state of Israel again, or is God completely finished with them? In that case, how can so many of the yet unfulfilled prophecies be fulfilled in the future? I would suggest to you that you take the time to do a 2-3 year study of Bible prophecy, if you have not done so, because I think you are misinformed regarding the nation of Israel and its role in prophecy. At any rate, whether you are misinformed or not, you and I will continue to disagree, not based on ignorance on my part though, as you have implied. Maybe it is you who need to take the time to research and examine what I believe, so that you can give an intelligent answer to the questions I am asking you. I'm sorry if you find what I just said insulting, as I don't really know you and the extent of your knowledge on these things, but you seem to have made some assumptions on my account in that regard as well. So if you can dish it out in such a manner, I hope you can take it when it's handed back to you too!

Next, you said, "So, please do not persist in your pro-zionist views as they are the same mistaken 'Judeo-Christian' beliefs, about 'rapture' and so on, fostered and promoted by the current anti-Christian crime gang that has usurped and twisted Christian teaching by having their agent Schofield alter the Holy Bible and by infiltrating their operatives and unwitting sympathisers at all levels of organised Christendom, including the Holy See; I beg you to study the relevant posts here on this and other sites such as..."

I am not necessarily a pro-Zionist, just because I believe that God says He will bless those that bless Israel and curse those who curse it. Here is a fairly good explanation of that I found on the web (the author of the site uses the term "Jew" here in the current sense of the word, I believe. I don't agree with the symbol on the flag of Israel, the "magen David" either. I believe the true symbol should and eventually will be the menorah, after the physical return of Christ to the earth). Please especially note Paul's statement which occurred after the death of Christ regarding the nation of Israel. According to this, God has not cast them away forever, and He will deal with them again when the "fullness of the Gentiles has come in" at the end of the age:

God Stands Behind Israel Even When He Disagrees with Them

We may not agree with everything the Nation of Israel does today, but if we believe the Bible is true, then we must understand that the Jews are God’s chosen people. So how do we reconcile the conflict between Israel sometimes making mistakes, and them being God’s chosen people? I believe the answer is simple. We must understand that God will stand behind Israel and protect them, even if he disagrees with them. Let’s look at a couple of verses from the Bible which show us this principle:

In the Old Testament, we find the prophet Isaiah saying the following about the Jews:

“For this the Lord shall not rejoice over their young men, nor shall He have mercy on their orphans and widows; for everyone is a hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaks foolishness. In all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.”

And in the Book of Romans, Chapter 11, verses 1-5, the apostle Paul explains it this way:

“I say then, Did not God put away His people? Let it not be said! For I also am an Israelite, of the seed of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin. God did not thrust out His people whom He foreknew. Or do you not know what the Scripture said in Elijah, how he pleaded with God against Israel, saying, ‘Lord, they killed Your prophets and dug down Your altars, and I am left alone, and they seek my life.’ But what does the Divine answer say to him? ‘I have reserved to Myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal.’ Even so then, also in this present time a remnant according to the election of grace has come into being.” We can see in the Bible that even when the Nation of Israel sins against the Supreme God, his hand is still outstretched to them! (from:

Maybe you need to update yourself on some of the research done regarding the teaching of the rapture as well. It is not such a new teaching as you believe it to be. And I believe it is Darby that was saddled with being the first one to teach about the rapture, not Scofield. Scofield included Darby's notes, not the other way around. There are a number of examples given in Scripture of "rapture-type" events, which prefigure the rapture of the church, the Bride of Christ (for example, Enoch being taken away in a chariot of fire in a whirlwind, and Noah's family escaping the Flood). The very picture of the ancient traditional "Jewish" wedding is also contains a figure of the rapture (and yes, I know the word is not found in the Bible, but the concept is - the word is a modern description of the concept). There are a number of references in the New Testament regarding Christ and the Church as His Bride, and the references are nearly identical to the older traditional Jewish wedding. (Just so you know, I am not particularly set on a pre-tribulational rapture, although I think the evidence leans that way. And I am perfectly willing to face the Great Tribulation if that is what God requires, so I am not an "escapist" and I won't be deceived into receiving the "mark",as so many who don't believe in the rapture claim, because I have a sincere love of the truth and believe that God protects those who fear Him). I have read most of the arguments against the rapture, so please understand that I am not an ignorant schoolgirl who knows nothing about the opposite view.

Here are some link for you and your readers on the topic of the rapture:

Rapture: Three Fascinating Discoveries!
Examining An Ancient Pre-Trib Statement
The Rapture and the Jewish Wedding (The Bridal Covenant)

In conclusion, I am really not all that happy with you posting my thesis on your website because of some of these other issues you deal with there. You and I do not view some of these issues through the same lens. Also, because you did not pay me the common courtesy of asking me for my permission to post my thesis, when I made a point of requesting that on my blog, I am not convinced you are a person of integrity because of your actions, including the fact that you posted my private email to you on a public site. Have you no scruples at all? Have a little common decency, man. At this point you have not convinced me that you have a good reason for posting anything I have written, and I want to make it clear to your readers that there is much that I disagree with regarding your beliefs. I will make it clear that I believe no man enters the kingdom of God unless they are born again by the Holy Spirit, and that repentance is a vital element in one's salvation which is entirely by faith. I hope we at least have that in common.

Once again, I kindly ask you to post this email in its entirety on the same page as you have posted my thesis on apostasy and my previous email, so that your readers understand my position. I think that is only fair since you posted them without my permission. If you don't do that, then please do me the courtesy of removing ALL of the above mentioned items from The Information Underground.

Sincerely, Bonnie

Monday, December 7, 2009



By Paul Proctor
July 22, 2009

I’d love to know who sold Christians and clergy the bogus notion that the church somehow needs to be more “relevant” to the culture in order to win it for Christ. You can hardly escape the word in Christian circles today. It’s absolutely everywhere believers are, and is used incessantly alongside other trendy terms like “connect,” “passion,” “purpose,” “awesome” and “tolerance” – flying out the mouths of church leaders as if it were some sacred biblical principle that should be worn like a phylactery on our foreheads and proclaimed from the rooftops lest we forget and, Heaven forbid, be a contrast to the culture in which we live.

The word “relevant” is not even in the Bible – except in one so-called bible version and verse – if you can bear to call The Message a Bible. But, the amazing irony of its brief appearance there, is that it points out perfectly why Christians should avoid being relevant:

"Don't be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Don't reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you're only being cute and inviting sacrilege.” – Matthew 7:6

Does that not accurately describe the relevant church today: cute, flippant, silly and full of slogans and sacrilege? Sounds just like the seeker-sensitive, purpose driven and emerging church to me!

Throughout scripture, in both the Old and New Testament, God’s own are repeatedly referred to as a “peculiar people.” (Exodus 19:5, Deuteronomy 14:2, 26:18, Titus 2:14 & 1st Peter 2:9) I’ve written about this many times over the years.

That means we ought to be viewed by the world around us as distinctive. But how can Christians be both distinctive and relevant? And just how does one “connect” with a culture and not be “unequally yoked” to it?

Being distinctive is what being sanctified and set apart for God is all about. We’re not suppose to look and act like the rest of the world. We’re not called to blend in.

We’re called to “come out from among them” and stand out as a testimony to God’s power and presence in a corrupt kingdom! You see, if we don’t look or act any different from the world around us, then we’re probably not any different.

But the church isn’t teaching sanctification anymore because it’s an unfashionable, unpopular and outdated word that scares sinners and separates Christians from the culture of cool. No, today’s church has, instead, set its heart on being more relevant to the culture than righteous before God in a prideful and egregious effort to help Jesus get the numbers up.

“Go ye into all the world and be relevant?

I don’t think so.

In my estimation, the word “relevant” was simply another devilishly dialectic term marketed to the church as a clever way to help Christians appeal to the flesh of the lost and buddy-up to the Beelzebub Club without appearing to compromise one’s Christian faith. But, that’s exactly what it does. And the more relevant one becomes to the enemies of Christ, the more irrelevant they become to God.

A preacher at a local megachurch my wife and I recently visited proudly told me a few days ago that he’s known as the pastor of the “coolest church in town” – using the word “cool” in various forms repeatedly in his email message, as if that would somehow impress me and make membership there more attractive. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that it would actually have the opposite effect. So, he was a little surprised and offended when I told him that “cool is not a fruit of the Spirit.”

If Christians have any relevance to this world, it is that we currently share it with unbelievers, who, like us, have a sinful nature. That’s all the relevance to this world Christians need in order to bear witness of the saving grace that came by Jesus Christ. It certainly isn’t necessary that we seek out more relevance than we already have.

Shall we now imitate more perfectly the hell-bound culture we were saved from as a means to win its favor, cooperation and participation? That’s not evangelism – that’s capitulation.

Being sanctified means we belong to Someone else now – Someone Who has forgiven our trespasses and sins and called us out of our old lives of depravity and rebellion to be “a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God.”

Suffice it to say, our time as Christians would be better spent swimming upstream against the currents of compromise and corruption than finding some fashionable flotilla with which to comfortably fit in and ride the rapids of relevancy over the falls to our spiritual demise.

“And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.” – 1st Kings 18:21 1.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

MY RESPONSE TO THE USMB "Emerging Church Debate Casualties" ARTICLE

The USMB article, Emerging Church Debate Casualties, criticizes authors Roger Oakland and Ray Yungen on their books warning about the emergent church, and specifically regarding their warnings against popular authors and speakers such as Rick Warren, Max Lucado, Chuck Swindoll and Mother Teresa who have promoted or endorsed either the emergent/emerging church or contemplative spirituality. Click HERE to read the USMB article, Emerging Church Debate Casualties. My response to the article appears below it on their website. It is also found here:
You make this statement, "Many of the people mentioned by these writers are familiar to me as writers, speakers and ministers whose works I have read, messages I have listened to and ministries I thought were good. Youngen’s (sic) list includes Rick Warren, Max Lucado, Charles Swindoll and Mother Teresa, and Oakland adds Roman Catholicism. Am I so blind to the deception of these people that I could not recognize apostasy right in front of my eyes? There are too many enemies!"

My question is this: What if you have not taken the time to do the hours of research that authors like Oakland and Yungen have? I have been studying the "emerging/emergent" movement for almost three years and have come to many of the same conclusions they have. Oakland and Yungen understand that authors, speakers, etc. who endorse those in the emerging/emergent church movement and its proponents are unwittingly leading their readers and listeners into contemplative spirituality (CS), the Trojan Horse of Eastern spirituality. The introduction of CS into the evangelical church was PLANNED by the Monastic Interreligious Dialogue (MID) in the 1970's. If you are willing to do your homework you can find statements verifying this information online on MID's own website. The emerging church is the primary conduit of this mystical spirituality in the evangelical churches. This doesn't mean that everyone reading/listening to them will take the bait, but doesn't it behoove those who have studied the movement to warn believers about the dangers of this movement? We are to have no fellowship with darkness; witness to them, yes, but not fellowship. The associations and promotions of those you have mentioned (Warren, Lucado, etc.)result in spiritually dangerous, and I believe, illegitimate liaisons. This also doesn't mean that these men have erred in other areas of their teaching ministries (most of their teaching is fine, but it only takes a little leaven to leaven the whole lump!.

The emerging/emergent movement has many subgroups or roads, including the theologically conservative but culturally liberal groups. What many fail to recognize is that these roads, if they once were divided, are now once again converging into one. At the least, the thing they all end up having in common is contemplative spirituality or mysticism, since they all promote authors who are contemplative, even those who claim to be theologically conservative (Mark Driscoll, for example).

A return to plain Scripture and the simple way of the cross is a fine antidote to these obscure and nefarious movements. We are commanded in Scripture to test all things. Paul warned the churches over and over again in order to protect them from error. If the emerging/emergent movement is promoting practices that come from outside of Scripture, why are we not examining them more carefully? And why aren't people being warned about the errors in these groups. Have we become spiritual pacifists?

I put forth the challenge to you and all those in positions of spiritual leadership to take your responsibility to protect the flock from wolves and from doctrinal and practical errors (such as contemplative prayer) of the faith seriously. Much of the New Testament is written to warn and protect the flock in order to preserve "the faith once delivered". In our desire to be considered relevant and world-friendly we have failed to do so, putting the flock in grave spiritual danger.

September 22, 2009 @ 6:15 PM


I felt it was important to expand on my response as above to give concrete evidence that the Monastic Interreligious Dialogue planned an inflitration of Contemplative Spirituality into the Roman Catholic monastic communities and the Christian church at large with the purpose of spreading its interfaith message. Please note that this organization comes straight out of the bowels of the Roman Catholic "church" at the behest of Vatican II. The emerging church is enamored with the Roman Catholic practices of all forms of contemplative prayer, their love of mysticism and the practice of sharing the Eucharist, and this has led them straight into the arms of the Roman Catholic "church" and its love for exalting experience over the Word of God.

Please also read The Mystic Plague - Catholicism Sets a Spiritualist Agenda by former Roman Catholic priest Richard Bennett, describing the links between Contemplative Spirituality, Roman Catholicism, false religions and the new age.


Evidence regarding the agenda to spread mysticism and promote Eastern religions from the MID website- a report on the October 1977 Monastic Meeting at Petersham: Opening Session with Abbot Cornelius Tholens:

This conference has the very practical aim of helping monks and nuns, as representatives of the monastic world, make better known the Oriental renaissance, the discovery of mankind’s inexhaustible riches in Asian cultures and religions, of promoting a more universal humanism and establishing communion which will result in the using of each one’s characteristic heritage for the benefit of all.

In the quest for ultimate meaning in human existence, there is a monk in every man, and each one faces the task of integrating this dimension of himself. The monastic experience can be a bond of unity transcending dividing lines between religions. Merton pointed out that common contemplative experience must precede the dialogue and theology. The study of Hinduism, it has been said, is gaining popularity in the West partly in reaction against materialism. We are living at a moment in history when the Church is for the first time beginning a serious encounter with the Oriental tradition.1.
How can we help the West open out to the East? The East around us. How can we help others share in this task? How make Christian monasticism known in the East?

Some suggestions: we need a list of experts, East and West; of monasteries; of useful publications. We need exchange of persons between East and West; visits to ashrams. How can we instruct our Christian monks in techniques and methods of Asian meditation? Yoga, etc.

In answer to questions, Abbot Tholens pointed to some texts to be found in the New Testament which can serve as links to Yogic doctrines. Contact is most possible at the highest point of each religious tradition: this contact may be made in silence, but very really. In this way the East-West dialogue differs from ecumenical reflections among Christians. We need to start where we are one, in the Spirit of God. Even as Christians we must go beyond all thought. One is first a human being, then a Christian, then a monk. Christians are always “on the way” to God. The monk, as homo religiosis, is a point of reference for all men; each of us has a point of reference to the infinite.2.
The evening concluded, as did each subsequent evening, with a short prayer service led by Father Basil. The following day’s work began, as did that of each day of the meeting, with a meditation period of an hour guided by Abbot Tholens or by another Master making use of the Asian insights into the divine nature available also to Christians. “These prayer services, as well as the daily liturgies at 5 p.m., were held in a room adjoining the main meeting room. The prayer room was furnished with cushions for those who preferred to pray seated in the Eastern postures. The adornment of the altar (quite empty on a day of discussion of Zen; adorned with flowers situated at eight points of the compass when the emphasis was Hindu) and the style of the meditation carried out the Eastern themes. A short prayer service drawing from the Chinese tradition, prepared by Sister Helen Wang, concluded each morning session.3.


A list of quotes from the mouths and pens of emergent church leaders themselves revealing their false gospel, false doctrine and unbiblical practices, many of them adopted from the Roman Catholic cult, from
"The church has been preoccupied with the question, "What happens to your soul after you die?" As if the reason for Jesus coming can be summed up in, "Jesus is trying to help get more souls into heaven, as opposed to hell, after they die." I just think a fair reading of the Gospels blows that out of the water. I don't think that the entire message and life of Jesus can be boiled down to that bottom line." —Brian McLaren, (from the PBS special on the Emerging Church)

"Emergent doesn't have a position on absolute truth, or on anything for that matter. Do you show up at a dinner party with your neighbors and ask, 'What's this dinner party's position on absolute truth?' No, you don't, because it's a non-sensical question." - Tony Jones (at the 2005 National Youth Workers Convention)

"Meditative prayer like that we experienced in the labyrinth resonates with hearts of emerging generations."—Dan Kimball, (from the Vintage Faith)

"My goal is to destroy Christianity as a world religion and be a recatalyst for the movement of Jesus Christ," McManus, author of a new book called The Barbarian Way, said in a telephone interview.

"Some people are upset with me because it sounds like I'm anti-Christian. I think they might be right."—Erwin McManus (from The Barbarian Way)

"Many Christians use "Breath Prayers" throughout their day. You choose a brief sentence or a simple phrase that can be repeated to Jesus in one breath." —Rick Warren

"The fact is that contemplative spiritualitywill play a huge part in the Church of the future, and candles are just the beginning." - Duane Cottrell

"He [Brian McLaren] cites Dallas Willard and Richard Foster, with their emphasis on spiritual disciplines, as key mentors for the emerging church."—The Emergent Mystique, Christianity Today, 11/04

"We should stop to reflect and to treasure the words, to turn them over and over in our minds, repeating them ..."—Richard Foster, (Renovare)

"Some of the values of the emerging church are an emphasis on emotions, global outlook, a rise in the use of arts, and a rise in mysticism and spirituality."—Josh Reich (Creating Worship Gatherings for the Emerging Church )

"Church Should Be Like a Dance Club" —Josh Reich (Creating Worship Gatherings for the Emerging Church)"I stopped reading from the approved evangelical reading list and began to distance myself from the evangelical agenda. I discovered new authors and new voices at the bookstore." -Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen

Contemplative spirituality seemed to open up a whole new way for me to understand and experience God. I was deeply moved by works like The Cloud of Unknowing, The Dark Night of the Soul and the Early Writings of the Desert Fathers." —Spencer Burke, (The Ooze)

Serious-minded Christians have every reason to be alarmed by what is going on in the emerging/emergent church movement, its fuzzy theology and its mystical practices, and every reason to sound the warning loud and clear. Preachers, teachers and authors, who have widespread influence need to be warning the flock, not endorsing these false teachers who are spreading this error. On this website I have provided as much information as I can to help you understand why the church is in the process of apostasizing. The problem is that many people do not want to accept the facts even when the evidence is staring them in the face. This indicates that there is a spiritual blindness in place. Scripture warns of the falling away in the last days, that the love of many will grow cold. It is happening faster than you think.

Examine your hearts!
2. ibid
3. ibid

Monday, September 21, 2009


**This post was originally written some time ago, but I was not at liberty to publish it at the time. The first part of the post was revised and updated to reflect the changes that have taken place since then, namely the arrival of our precious granddaughter. The second part remains unaltered. It was written on August 20th.**

Well, summer is officially over. Our first grandbaby has arrived and our daughter and her husband are busy feathering their nest. Our two youngest children have headed off to Bible School emptying ours, so we are officially EmptyNesters now that they are gone. That title always sounds so funny to me, a misnomer really, since we as parents are still in the nest. What are we, chopped liver?!

Here's a joke for all you new fellow "EmptyNesters":

Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, Honey,” I said sweetly, “without your glasses, you look like the same handsome, young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “without my glasses, you still look pretty good, too!”

Joking aside, I thank God that my husband and I have maintained our relationship throughout those child rearing years. God has been so good to us. We have chosen to be honest with our children about our failures and asked God for wisdom, of which we have required a very liberal dose. His grace has carried us through the good times and the difficult ones. I've been telling people that if we could be perfect parents, who would need grace anyways (and boy, have we ever!). We entrusted our children to Him before they were ever born and we will not stop now that they are old enough to spread their wings. We thank God for the privilege of allowing us to be parents and look forward to what He has in store in the coming years, especially now that we have become grandparents. With all the ups and downs the years bring, we know He will be there waiting for us when we get there.

Click HERE to read a really great poem called Empty Nest by Mandy Baldwin.


August 20th:

Speaking of ups and downs, at this time I would like to ask for prayer. Although I have had physical problems for more than twenty years, this last year and a half, and particularly the last four months, have been especially difficult for me. At this time it looks like I am facing the possibility that I will have to stop blogging altogether. I am writing this post at around 3:30 AM because I cannot sleep, not because I have no peace, but because I am living with chronic pain. Many of the ordinary things many people do every day and take for granted are becoming either difficult or impossible for me to do. For me this means that I have to decide what my priorities will be in a very big way. I read a really great illustration about this the other day at a website called But You Don't Look Sick, an article called The Spoon Theory, that may help you understand. For any of you interested, September 14 - 20, 2009 is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week (what a mouthful, eh?), called Invisible Illness Week for short, something I only recently became aware of through the devotional ministry blog of Rest Ministries.

I will be seeing a rheumatologist in the near future (I hope), a doctor who I saw a number of years ago who did not give an accurate diagnosis at the time, partly because my GP believes I have a rare illness called Adiposis Dolorosa or Dercum's Disease, and only very specific lab tests will be of any help in a diagnosis. Just letting you know that this is a tentative diagnosis, as he wants a specialist to confirm or deny it of course, but I have all of the classic symptoms. I have previously been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which is really a spectrum covering many diseases, some of them not well understood. (People with Dercum's may also have Fibromyalgia as a secondary condition but/and are also frequently misdiagnosed with it). Dercum's causes chronic pain , and may gradually or rapidly (particularly for women in their 40's) become very debilitating. At this point I am having difficulty walking some days, my right side being particularly affected. I am experiencing pain, weakness and a loss of balance and co-ordination. The more activity I do the worse it gets because activity causes the lipomas to irritate the nerves, so I am trying to keep occupied by reading, taking short walks around the yard and doing some light housekeeping as I am able. When I am in severe pain I am basically unable to do anything, not even read or watch TV. During this time I simply rest and do a lot of praying. (The disease also causes chronic fatigue, which may be the result of chronic pain).

Update: September 21/09:

I have been placed on some new and experimental medications and pain relievers and am receiving some relief from the pain (praise God!) but not from the chronic fatigue and weakness. I have begun to realize that I may never return to my previous physical condition. Although I have made adjustments in my lifestyle over the years to accommodate my health problems, the past few months have meant some drastic changes for me. Although I have experienced my "down times" emotionally, God continues to give me the strength, courage and hope I need one day at a time. I can still say with conviction that God is good to us, understanding that having received the earnest of the Spirit here and now, and that one day in the presence of Christ I will be made completely whole. For now, the spiritual blessings God has given me are enough, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Regarding this blog, I still have hope that I will gain enough strength one day to carry on with this since I know that there are people who have come across it and found it to be a source of information and encouragement. It is God who receives all the glory for that - I am only His channel, and I thank Him for choosing to use me. To this day I don't understand why that is, and yet I praise Him for giving me the privilege of serving Him in this way. I have made some of the most incredible friends, people whom I have met or become reacquainted with when they discovered this blog. God bless every one of you. Please continue to pray for me, it means so much.

A Bible passage which has come to mean a lot to me lately is the entire 26th chapter of Isaiah, and especially the highlighted verses. I believe this chapter is a prophecy referring to the "catching away" of the bride of Christ, a day which I look forward to with great anticipation.

Isaiah 26

1In that day shall this song be sung in the land of Judah; We have a strong city; salvation will God appoint for walls and bulwarks.

2Open ye the gates, that the righteous nation which keepeth the truth may enter in.

3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

4Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:

5For he bringeth down them that dwell on high; the lofty city, he layeth it low; he layeth it low, even to the ground; he bringeth it even to the dust.

6The foot shall tread it down, even the feet of the poor, and the steps of the needy.

7The way of the just is uprightness: thou, most upright, dost weigh the path of the just.

8Yea, in the way of thy judgments, O LORD, have we waited for thee; the desire of our soul is to thy name, and to the remembrance of thee.

9With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.

10Let favour be shewed to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness: in the land of uprightness will he deal unjustly, and will not behold the majesty of the LORD.

11LORD, when thy hand is lifted up, they will not see: but they shall see, and be ashamed for their envy at the people; yea, the fire of thine enemies shall devour them.

12LORD, thou wilt ordain peace for us: for thou also hast wrought all our works in us.

13O LORD our God, other lords beside thee have had dominion over us: but by thee only will we make mention of thy name.

14They are dead, they shall not live; they are deceased, they shall not rise: therefore hast thou visited and destroyed them, and made all their memory to perish.

15Thou hast increased the nation, O LORD, thou hast increased the nation: thou art glorified: thou hadst removed it far unto all the ends of the earth.

16LORD, in trouble have they visited thee, they poured out a prayer when thy chastening was upon them.

17Like as a woman with child, that draweth near the time of her delivery, is in pain, and crieth out in her pangs; so have we been in thy sight, O LORD.

18We have been with child, we have been in pain, we have as it were brought forth wind; we have not wrought any deliverance in the earth; neither have the inhabitants of the world fallen.

19Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise. Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.

20Come, my people, enter thou into thy chambers, and shut thy doors about thee: hide thyself as it were for a little moment, until the indignation be overpast.

21For, behold, the LORD cometh out of his place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity: the earth also shall disclose her blood, and shall no more cover her slain.